Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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