I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
