soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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