Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
