I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
