Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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