he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Randomize
