dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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