thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
