turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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