Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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