Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I am one with the molecules
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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