Don't you send me to vm
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
