So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
you had me at cake vodka
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
