Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
