yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
