Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize