guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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