There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
