we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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