so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
