Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
