do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
