At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
