Come see our sink grown plant.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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