Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
