Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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