Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
