garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My room smells like vodka and shame
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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