Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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