she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
