I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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