I'm lost and stupid without you.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
