i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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