there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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