Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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