i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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