You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
