i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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