I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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