I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
