i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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