Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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