If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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