I cockslap morals
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
