Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
