I feel like abortions should bother me more
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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