Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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