Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
