I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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