I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
