if only i could text you this smell
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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