Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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