I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
