after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
